1. You take
your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain
yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left
the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard
rather than mow it.
6. The Salvation Army
declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give
someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local
taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the
dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid
on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a
tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has
'ammo' on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick
soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in
a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car
races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales
of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a
gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have
curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service
stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
20. You can spit without
opening your mouth.
21. You consider your
license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is
to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set
of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
24. The biggest city you've
ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on
top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your
ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your
neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet
brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th
grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is
hitting a deer at 65.