It is all over the news.
Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, cupcakes, donuts and many other
tasty pastries, is closing. Some say that hostess products are full
of preservatives and sugar. That may be true. So what? They are an
American icon and I do not know how I will survive without the
orange cupcakes.
Other will say this is the Armageddon. At Wal-Mart shelves are
emptying quickly. You can still buy Twinkies and Hostess cupcakes on
EBay. How long will this last? Twinkies are so indestructible that
if you bake them today, they still may be "edible" 5 years down the
road. But at some point there will be no Twinkies.
It is a very sad day and preparations are already being made for the
last rites. Below is a dry run of a somber funeral for the Twinkie.
But I
think this is all premature and I will tell you why. A
federal judge has ordered management and the unions which
were on strike to enter into mediation talks. Hopefully this
will bring an end to this dispute which has led to the
announcement of the closing of Hostess facilities and the
laying off of 18,000 workers. The workers that are organized
by the teamsters are in favor of management's original
offer. On the other hand the bakers who are organized by
another union opposed the company's offer and went on
strike.
Why would the teamsters want to go along with the company and
what does this have to do with the Aldersonian? Glad you asked.
Some years ago a lone employee at the Alderson prison witnessed
the burial of ex teamster leader, Jimmy Hoffa, at the Alderson
prison. This individual is in the witness protection program and
is known only as JM. A clue for the Aldersonian readers, his
last name is McCurdy.
My conspiracy theory is that JM loves Hostess products.
The Teamsters are afraid that if there are no Twinkies around
that JM will break his vow of silence and once and for all end
the dispute over where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. Why is this
important? Name recognition. When the media mentions Jimmy Hoffa
they also mention the Teamsters. If JM talks, no one will ever
mention Jimmy Hoffa again and the teamsters will have to spend
hundreds of thousands if not millions in advertising to get the
same name recognition. You may think this is a wild story. If
you don't believe me, watch JM"s house late at night and you
will see a Hostess truck dropping off yummy supplies of Twinkies
and cupcakes. Folks, Hostess will be saved. The teamsters will
not take a chance that JM will talk.
