Whence, me prayers were poorly said
who tucked me in me widdle bed
and spanked me 'til me ass turned wred?
           ... Me Mudder
When in the morning, light would come
and in me cwrib me dwribbled some
who yet still wiped, me widdle bum?
           ... Me Mudder
Who took me from me cozy cot
to put me on that ice cold pot
and made me pee whether me could or not?
           ... Me Mudder
And who's ... so gently, hair would part
and hold me tightly to her heart
and sometimes squeeze me 'til me fart?
           ... Me Mudder
Who glared at me wit' eyebrows lit
and gosh darn nearly trough a fit
when in me Sunday pants me sh*t?
           ... Me Mudder